A porn star, an aborted landing, disabling a pax, and finishing with a lovely layover- my first pairing back...It was a doozy!
My 1st day back started @ noon, but I woke up much earlier to make sure I had everything. (Which I didn't- of course! Because everything always happens to me. Earlier in the week I had ordered another uniform skirt because on my last shift working in the airport, I got home and realized that one of the "teeth" in the zipper had fallen out and therefore couldn't go up or down anymore! So I called our uniform supplier and told them I needed a new skirt asap for my 1st flight back on Friday. The uniform supplier called me Thursday afternoon to pick up my new skirt, I got there right before it closed. Later that night, as I was laying out my uniform, I took my skirt from out of the box and surprise! surprise, it was a vest!!! I called the supplier the next morning to inform them of their mistake, and they told me the skirt I had ordered was now on back order until August! Brilliant!! So, now the question was how was I going to get into a tight skirt that's zipper won't budge? I managed! I was very eager to get back to work!) So the next morning I arrived at the crew lounge an hour early for my flight, and I was greeted by mandatory grooming and manual checks! FUN!
After the drama subsided, I met my in-charge and headed down to the plane with her. Surprisingly, a lot had changed and I had also forgotten a lot.
We arrived at the gate and to my surprise, who was operating the flight with me? "MoMo"! If you didn't read my last blog "MoMo" was the flight attendant I flew with when I injured myself almost 4 months ago! So it was a nice reunion. Thank God for her being there, she helped me remember where things were and what I had to do. Surprisingly once onboard i didn't need too much coaxing it all came right back to me!
The incharge gave a phenomenal briefing and just before boarding, the agent came down to tell us about a problem VIP who was giving her trouble up at the gate. At the mention of the VIP, we all sat up straight and asked who it was. After the mention of her name, I was still unsure of who she was the rest of the crew explained that she was a local "porn star" I'm still unsure of exactly what she does, since she's not exactly a porn star, but has her own local channel where she gives advice on the art of seduction to women, and also preforms some "soft-core" stuff on there as well! ??
Anyway, after explaining why she was giving her a hard time, the agent said "I'm just going to tell Donald duck, 'No!' ". Who?? The agent said "Just wait until she gets onboard!"
So, after setting up the galley, and once boarding was complete I took a walk up to business class. There, in the last row of business was "Donald Duck" in all her glory. It was one of those cases of BOTCHED plastic surgery. She literally had a "bill" extending from her face! It made me wonder if her bill had anything to do with her teachings on the art of seduction? I'm sure it did- because it didn't seem like her 'perfect 10' traveling partner minded her lips too much!
Off to LGA it was! The passengers were stranger then I had remembered... this could also be becuase of summer flying. Summer passengers are not our regular guests, and therefore are a little more unsure of our products and service. I couldn't remember the last time I had to list what we actually had in the trolley. In all my first flight back went off without a hitch, and I had my fabulous crew to thank.
On arrival back into YUL, and once passed customs and immigration, I walked through the international arrivals hall. While talking to my crew and over all the buzz and talking I heard "Is that Jenn?! I think that's Jenn... JENN? JENN?" I turned around to see a friend that was with me in my German classes. What are the chances? It was so nice to see her, and secretly it's always been my dream to have someone in the international arrivals hall, be waiting for me with a big poster and maybe flowers! HA! I guess I'll settle for someone just knowing me while they're there waiting for their mother.
After a 2 hour wait in YUL, it was off to Chicago. The flight was easy peasy, the plane wasn't full. Service went quick and I was looking forward to my 1st layover in ages! At the top of descent, the in-charge told me to stow everything in the galley quickly and to take my seat as soon as possible because we expecting some serious turbulence on approach into Chicago. I took my seat, and boy was it bumpy. The kind of ride you have to do heavy breathing through to keep your stomach out of your throat! Then, if you can imagine it got bumpier! I was sitting at the back of the aircraft all alone, and wondering "Is it always this bumpy?". Just as I thought we were about to land, we didn't, and I distinctly felt us start to climb again into the raging turbulence! Why me? The captain called, we had just aborted our landing and had to divert because of a storm over the ORD airport! He said he was waiting to hear back about Milwaukee or possibly Toronto as alternates. A couple of moments later he called back, we were going BACK TO YUL, due to the amount of fuel we had left. Great!
After we made our announcements and reached a comfortable cruise, the seatbelt sign went off and there was a flood of people who came to use the lav at the back. I guess I wasn't the only one the turbulence scared the coco out of because after a couple of minutes the whole rear of the plane smelt terrible. I excused myself and went to the front in search of lav spray, none to be found. So, I always have a back up and reached into my coat pocket for my personal air freshener (which, by the way is the best $1 investment I have ever made!) At this point my in-charge was with me in the back galley and we started to chat, I sprayed a little in the galley, so I could stop gagging, and then opened the lav door and discharged it twice. A couple of moments later, I heard a soft moaning coming from the lav... THE LAV!!! There was someone inside when I sprayed it!!! I turned and looked at my in-charge, at the same moment the door swung open and a lady came out holding her eyes! I had maced her!!! The poor thing was just trying to use the toilet and I disabled her like an mugger! I apologized profusely! I think she was embarrassed more then anything! Poor thing!
After arriving back into YUL, I had an impromptu layover back home. (Btw, a little FYI... impromptu layovers are awesome to check up on your partner and see if s/he has anyone over! That will scare the coco out of them!)
The next day, the in-charge and I caught up with the rest of our pairing, or at least half of it! Sweet! That night my layover was in YOW, which happens to be the home of the fabulous Mrs. McGoose- who just happens to be my bff that I met in initial training! So, we had an amazing girls night in after a little clothes shopping. We ordered in some chinese and reminisced about 1st getting hired at our airline and all the drama that went on in house hunting after we transfered! We talked for so long, that the next thing we knew it was already 3am and I had to be up at 5am, but it was totally worth it.
First pairing back was great! Hope the next one goes as well! Crossing my fingers!
