My last couple of flights have been exhausting! Sometimes I feel like I was hired to just consistently repeat myself until some part of my face falls off. I think the worst example of this is if your doing a coffee & tea service on the plane. Even if your a really bubbly positive person, once you get to the 250th passenger you contemplate jabbing a pen into your skull!
It starts with "Coffee Or Tea?" (don't forget your big smile and direct eye contact) your lucky if one person from the row looks away from the screen long enough to nod. What the heck is that? What does a nod mean? I've offered you two things. Nodding either means your acknowledging my presence (which I thank you very much for, but is still not the right answer), or you would like a coffee, or you would like a tea. So I stand there and stare at you and wait for you to decided which of the three options it is. When you finally feel my daggers bearing into you and glance up from your captivating inflight entertainment, you sit bolt up right, rip the ear phones off your ears and say "I'm sorry I guess I didn't hear you!" (or alternatively, keep them on and stare at me blankly and say very loudly over the sound of whatever your listening to, "Whhhhattttt??!"). To which I reply smoothly "Coffeeee or Teaaa?", and you look at me and slump back in your chair and say "oh, ya... coffee (sometimes please)."
As I pour your coffee I go for round two of my in depth interrogation, "Cream and/or sugar?" and once again I let my stare penetrate deep into the back of your head. "huh?! Ya sure." you say to me. Of course I won't make the rookie mistake of just taking your 'ya,sure' at face value and preparing a coffee with cream and sugar... noooo! Because surely as I move onto the next passenger you will take your first sip and tell me "Uhhhh, I didn't ask for sugar (alternatively, cream)!" So, I repeat myself, and then repeat myself again... because DUH! you can't hear me! So I hand your coffee to you with cream and sugar packets on the side and proceed to trying to get the attention of your neighbor at the window.
When they finally notice me, I hear the faintest "wtishtalokler....". What now?
"Pardon me? Coffee or tea?". They continue to do a neck twist which I'm not sure is a nod, shake, shrug, or seizure. Again, "wtishtalokler...." *Big Smiles*
"I'm really sorry- I can't hear you? Was it coffee or tea?"
"wtishtalokler! wtishtalokler! wtishtalokler! ".
"I'm so very sorry, the plane is so loud can you speak up?" (YOU KNOW YOU ARE ON A PLANE THAT HAS 2 OR MORE JET ENGINES PROPELLING IT THROUGH THE SKY!)
"Hurmpf,wtishtalokler! ". What the hell? Are you in the coffee witness protection?
"I apologize, (even though I'm 27 y.o) I must be losing my hearing!".
"Ughhh, she said she wants a coffee!" says the first guy I just served. Oh, a coffee! Ya, sure! Sounds exactly like 'wtishtalokler! ' ! I prepare the coffee, and dread the next bit.
"Cream and/or sugar?", "yrqodu!". I'M NOT ASKING YOU YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION! JUST CREAM OR SUGAR-SIMPLE STUFF! I smile really widely, and give 4 packets of everything and move along to the last person in the row. "Coffee Or Tea Sir?" , no reply. "Pardon me, Coffee or tea?" (In my head: coffee or tea, coffee or tea, coffee or tea, coffee or tea). No reply, "ok Sir, I'm guessing no coffee or tea for yourself this morning!" *big smiles*. I take the break off the trolley and start to inch forward when I feel two firm whacks to my thigh, "Ummm, ya- excuse me Miss, but you skipped me... can I have a coffee?" says the guy I was just asking.
*softly weeping inside* "Yes, sure, no problem...".
3 passengers down, 247 to go!
