Diary of a Lonely Flight Attendant

FREE Travel, Adventure, Shopping, Paris, Beaches, Geneva, Cocktails, Pilots, London, Celebrities, Museums, Cute Uniforms, Cute passengers, Los Angeles, Designer Bags, New York... did I mention shopping? Hong Kong, Massages, Sight seeing, Pearls, Brazil, Fine Dining, Chicago, Fun, Duty Free, Sydney, Sun... did I mention cocktails?

All things people think are synonymous with a flight attendant's lifestyle, and for the most part, it's not far off.

Over the past, almost 10 years I've enjoyed many of the above mentioned perks of my job. Except the cute passengers bit. David, I have never, EVER looked at the very hot, athletic, wealthy, funny and eligilble men on board!

However, what I find frequently left out from movies, blogs, reality shows and books is: the depressing, unglamorous loneliness that sometimes catches up to you with this job. 

When you first start out, there's a lot of excitement. Everything is new. Everything is a fun, first time experience. I've experienced layovers all over the world that have been absolutely thrilling! Layovers where, the party starts on the crew bus before even getting to the hotel*.  I have visited some of the worlds finest museums, dined in the classiest restaurants**, and (window) shopped in designer stores. I have schlepped through a 'Souq', gone 200 meters down into a very rare and beautiful salt mine in Bogota, haggled in a Chinese market for the latest electronic gadget***, been to a Beer Garden in Germany, and swam in the Dead Sea. I have seen the famous Christmas window display at Harrods, met celebrities, taken pictures with, under, beside, in front, and holding the Eiffel tower. I have ridden a double decker bus, been to a mosque in Turkey, I have used my layovers to visit friends and family that live all over the world that i don't otherwise get to see regularly, and I wouldn't trade those experiences for the world! But the reality for the average flight attendant is not the above mentioned lifestyle, it's spending countless nights in a hotel room in Saskatoon/Milwaukee/Winnipeg/Omaha/or Regina, and that's when layovers lose their charm... Fast!

When a layover hotel is awkwardly located, especially in a boring city, being at the 
hotel for 13+ hours can become excruciatingly long. Even when it's centrally 
located, some cities just don't have much going on. The novelty of room service wears off after about 2 months into the job, when you realize the only thing you can afford on your beginner salary is the burger, or the club sandwich... again. The hot tub and hotel pool quickly lose their charm as well, when you realize that it always seems to be just you and the very amorous honeymooners in the water. AckK! Then there's retail therapy, which puts a huge dent into your wallet, but somehow makes you feel just a little better about being away from home, friends and loved ones. It also helps the time to pass quicker! But even the high that shopping brings can eventually fade, when you have to lug all that junk you 
just bought around for the next few days, or more depressingly, when the credit card bill arrives. For the person who hates eating in public alone****, you learn there's no escaping it. Eventually, you prepare yourself on a regular basis for the occasion. By always having a magazine, good book, iPod, iPad, iPhone or in my case all of those things, because I much rather look busy then look lonely.                        (What do you think I'm doing right now!)

If you're a flight attendant, you understand other flight attendants constant tweets, multiple Facebook updates- a day, and even blogs. They're probably killing some time, and lonely. If you're not a flight attendant, now maybe you can understand!

                              
The big factor that makes a trip lonely or Amazing is the crew, or lack thereof. 

With a good crew, either front end or back end (front end: pilots, back end: flight attendants) even a five day trip can feel like a day long, fun, vacation with friends. On a trip with a 'not so fun crew' or a '1 flight attendant trip' (basically means you're an orphan and belong to no one) a two day trip can seem like a hellish eternity. 

I've also noticed, FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) back at home can add to the feeling of loneliness. An otherwise, fun trip seems to be dragging on and on when you know everyone back home will be out on Friday celebrating so and so's brithday party, Jodie's Bachelorette, or any major holidays. Weekend trips seem to be the worst for this, it seems every time you call back home people are out, or just on their way out. The absolute worst is, when you try to call a few different friends and realize that they must be all together.

At the end of the day, you have to take the good (shopping, travel, cocktails, ect.) with the bad. And the bad, for the record, (in case anyone out there thought I was trying to flaunt my glamorous lifestyle) can be really bad.

                                       

So for good measure, In my almost 10 years: I have Slept on a stained, lumpy mattress (in a motel). I have been bitten by bed bugs. I have had to wash clothes and under garments in a hotel sink. I have stayed in Deer Lake (look it up). I have been punched by a deranged passenger. I have gotten an intestinal parasite abroad. I have had my wallet stolen. I have broken up fist fights (between 2 senior citizens). I have been yelled at more times then I can count. I have been poked, more then a pin cushion. I have experienced turbulence that made me hit the ceiling and then smash me onto the floor. I have (my all time favorite) been thrown up on. I have been reduced to tears by collegues. I have cleaned up everything from vomit, feces and blood. I have gotten lost and ended up in some very unsavory areas (Ramallah). I have pulled back the sheets in my hotel bed to find a used condom. I have scrounged around trolleys for uneaten food. I have been involved in a Chinese market raid, and subsequently had to hide under a table for four hours clutching my fake Prada while people around gotten taken to jail. And have been permanently jet lagged since being hired.
Ohh, the Glamour....

*I have never partaken in such crew bus Shenanigans. ;)

** And when the bill came, subsequently soiled myself in said restaurants.

*** Which didn't even turn on once back at the hotel.

**** ME